I have a confession to make.
I did not like Frozen.
I hope my friends/readers will still remain such after this post but I would be lying if I said I found that movie enjoyable.
I’m not saying it was horrible. I love love LOVE that the people behind animated kid movies are finally realizing that they all don’t have to be about romantic love. And I love that Anna’s rescue came from her own actions, not from someone else saving her. And these are huge steps in the right direction for Disney. Too many girls grow up watching Disney movies where the message is always the same: You can be as fierce, strong and/or independant as you please. But your story will not be complete until you end up with a guy. (I do want to clarify though that I have no problems with romantic movies. I still love most Disney movies and watch them regularly!)
But despite these good bits, I was so disappointed and bored with the rest of the movie that I’m not sure they really matter. I’m going to do this in a list format because I think that’s going to be the easiest way for me to organize my thoughts.
1) Besides “Let It Go”, were any of these songs actually good? I thought they sounded terrible. Like Broadway showtunes. Disclaimer: I hate Broadway musicals, with a few (very few!) exceptions. I’ve only seen the film once but I couldn’t tell you one thing about the other songs. Wait, no. There was the ice song at the beginning. And then the snowman song. And then there was the Hans and Anna song, and then the troll song. Were there more? I don’t know. I don’t really care. They all sounded distressingly similar to the point where I wasn’t sure if this was actually a new song or just a continuation of a theme. I had mentally checked out during a good chunk of the muscial offerings.
2) Oh look. Dead parents. How infuriatingly unremarkable.
3) The “love” story between Hans and Anna was creepy. And very, very disturbing. Even for a kids’ movie when you’re really not supposed to think too hard about the plot. Really though, our heroine just agreed to marry a man she just met. As in, literally, a few hours ago, she had no idea he existed. And then leaves that man in charge of her entire country. Am I really supposed to believe that a girl that naive can truly go on a journey beyond the castle she hasn’t left in years to save a sister she doesn’t know and hasn’t seen since she was a child?
4) Elsa goes from not even being able to keep herself from freezing the sceptre to building ice castles and weight bearing staircases. Annnnd creating life (where in the world did Olaf come from? Was that a freak? Or can she make other living creatures??). I’m also a little…intrigued…by the idea that she went from a mousey little blonde to being a Nordic sexpot just because she’s started using her ice powers.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great sequence. It’s got a great empowerment message, it looks good, it feels good. And I understand we’re running on Disney time here which means true love grows in a few days and whole kingdoms can be traversed in the course of a few hours. But it doesn’t work. If it was that easy to control, why didn’t she learn to master her powers in the years she was locked in her room?
5) Why is it so hard to create distinctive looking female characters? Hans and Kristoff look very different.
They look different.
Elsa and Anna are the same character with different hairstyles.
Why do we keep restricting ourselves to such narrow confines of female beauty? (Slightly related- has anyone noticed that if you were to take the women from The Bachelor (any or all seasons) and put them in the same dress with the same hairstyle, excepting minor gradations in skin and hair color, they would all look the same?)
To be fair, I could take any Disney or Pixar movie and pick it apart like this. But I feel that other movies have a redeeming value that, in my opinion, Frozen does not. You want an unconventional love story? Go watch Brave. You want a traditional Disney musical? How about Beauty and the Beast? Or The Little Mermaid? Or Tangled (anybody else think the Stabbington Brothers are two of the hottest animated Disney villains in a looong time? Or is that just me?)
Since I feel pretty bad about posting such a curmudgeonly review of a movie that everybody just seems to LOOOOVE, here are two reviews from the Egotist’s Club that both describe what an excellent movie it is.
I would love to hear about why I’m wrong about Frozen! Or maybe you agree with me??